I hear from many of you that you want to go to therapy, but you’re scared. Being prepared makes you feel more confident going into the appointment, so this series is intended to help you get over those first-time therapy jitters.
Once you’ve made it to the appointment and you’ve answered all the therapist’s questions, there’s just one more thing that makes people nervous: The dreaded, “Now, do you have any questions for me??”
Today, I’ll prep you with a list of questions to ask so you’ll navigate the end of your session like a pro.
What To Ask at Your First Therapy Appointment
1. What are your policies regarding communication between therapy sessions? What if I need an appointment sooner than the one we’ve scheduled?
Some therapists are highly accessible to their clients between sessions, which can be helpful for learning how to implement new coping skills in real time. Others are less available, which is helpful for fostering more independence. Ask about where your therapist stands on this and what to do if some sort of crisis comes up and your next appointment feels really far away.
2. What will each session look like?
Ask for a sense of how your therapist will structure sessions. Will there be worksheets and homework, or will it be more conversational? Will you talk about whatever seems important at the moment, or is there a more specific plan for each session? How long will the sessions last? Do you tend to run on time (this one’s more personal…I like to know what time I’m gonna be done at an appointment so I can plan the rest of my day)?
3. What should I expect at our next session?
Once you’ve completed the first session, it’s reasonable to ask the therapist what the agenda is for the next session. As you get more familiar with therapy, you’ll likely take on a greater role in setting the agenda for each session. But first-time therapy participants often rely on the therapist to guide them in the beginning, so ask what the agenda will look like for your next appointment.
4. What should I do to prepare for our next appointment?
Often, I ask new clients to think about their goals for therapy and any preferences they might have for how we reach those goals or how we structure our therapy sessions, but your therapist might have other ideas about what would be helpful between the first and second sessions. You get the most out of therapy when you work between sessions (grab my worksheets for a guide about what to be doing between sessions), so start this habit from the very beginning.
5. What’s your experience with treating people like me?
If you read my article about how to choose the right therapist, you may have asked this question before you even scheduled the first appointment. It’s worth asking again now that the therapist has a lot more information about you. Also ask about what general approach they’d recommend for treating you now that they know more about you.
6. Are there any other treatments or approaches I should be considering?
Hopefully your therapist will lead this conversation by suggesting different types of treatment that are available for your particular concerns, but if not, then ask. Sometimes therapists get in the habit of offering the one treatment they happen to be trained in and don’t think to mention that there are other alternatives to consider. Ask. Ask about the pros and cons of the different options. When you ask this question, your therapist may also talk to you about whether a visit to your physician or a psychiatrist for a medication evaluation could be useful.
7. How can I get the most out of our work together?
Because each therapist does therapy a little bit differently, they’ll all have slightly different opinions about how to maximize your work together. Regardless, your therapist should give you some general ideas about what you can be doing on your own. If you get a vague answer or you want a little bit more structure, I put together a series of worksheets that detail what you should do before, during, after, and between sessions. Grab them here.
Ask Questions At Your First Appointment
It can be intimidating to ask questions at your first appointment — the therapist seems so confident and expert, and you feel scared and unsure. Remember that your therapist’s entire job is to help you get better and feel comfortable, so answering your questions is one way they can do that. Remember, too, that the first session is the scariest. Once you’re familiar with the therapist and the process, it gets much easier. It’s just like a new job — day 1 is scary but day 15 is a lot more comfortable. Stick with it, talk to your therapist about your concerns, and know that it will get easier as it gets more comfortable.
Up Next…
Speaking of a new job, next week, we’re talking about imposter syndrome. If you’ve had the thought that you’re a fraud and you’ve just somehow fooled everyone around you into thinking you know what you’re doing, you don’t want to miss it.
Talk to you soon,
Dr. Finch
P.S. Remember, this is education, not treatment. Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you. See the disclaimer for more details.
