Many of us do it, especially those of us with depression. We get up day after day and dread going to work, but we put on a happy face and make pleasantries with our coworkers to make it through the day. It’s exhausting. Many of us try frantically to avoid what we’re thinking and feeling, desperate to feeling anything other than pain. We just can’t accept what we’re feeling – we don’t want to. Not only is it tiring and disingenuous, but 2017 research out of the University of California, Berkeley, found it can actually be unhealthy.
“People who accept their thoughts and feelings instead of judging them tend to be psychologically healthier, partly because accepting their thoughts and feelings helps them react better to stress.”
People who are more naturally accepting of their thoughts and feelings (without judging them as “bad” or “negative” or feeling shame about them) tend to be psychologically healthier, meaning they are more satisfied with their lives, have fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, and have greater overall wellbeing. They also tend to react less negatively to stress, meaning that when something stressful happens, if you’re in the habit of accepting your feelings, you actually have a smaller reaction – so having more feelings over time actually results in less intense feelings. And these better reactions to stress actually made people more psychologically healthy six months later, meaning if you are in the habit of accepting your feelings, you react better to stress and are healthier in the long-term. This was true no matter how stressful people’s lives were. In a nutshell, this study confirmed what other researchers and clinicians have touted since the early 20th century – people who accept their thoughts and feelings instead of judging them tend to be psychologically healthier, partly because accepting their thoughts and feelings helps them react better to stress.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD,
is a practicing psychologist
in Des Moines, Iowa.